Saturday, September 5, 2015

Back in Session.

School is Back in Session.

I will be the first to tell you, that it takes me, every BIT as long as the kids, to get back into a groove.
I cannot tell you the amount of paperwork I have filled out in the first 2 days  back.

I know. I know.
I chose to have FIVE kids.
I did. I get it.
Why can't an emergency form be the same for all four of them?
Why do I have to manually fill out the same thing x4? When it goes right into a computer anyway?

Talk about frustrating.
I know I stay at home. But this lady has got LOTS better to do, then be filling out duplicate forms, people. :)

We didn't start school until August 31st...which was actually a week later, then most Lancaster county schools in our area. (Chester county schools started later...not sure why?) LOVED partying one week longer than our friends. { However, this will come back to bite us, when they are out a week before us this summer. :)  } are those first day pictures.

2015-2016 school year. Here we come.

Kaden- 6th grade.

Kaycee- 5th grade.

Campbell- 3rd grade

Calli- 1st grade

Has her first day of preschool next week. I will post a pic then. :)) ]

Here is the happy little bunch. PLUS Ava.
She is a friend of Kaycee's that we watch each morning before school.
Please excuse Campbell.
She had just gotton bonked in the head, via Kaden and his metal lunchbox.
There were tears.

There is so much more I could say.
The first day of school is always hard for me.
I always cry.
Usually just in the car, after the last one climbs out.

It's not because I miss them.
The quiet is super nice.
I can clean up the kitchen. And it will stay clean until they return home.
whoop. whoop. :)

It's more because it's a big, scary world out there.
Even in school.
And I am not there.
To interject.
Or explain it another way.
Or tell them to say please and thank you.
Or nudge them in the shoulder to smile.
Or to remind them to chew with their mouth closed.
I am not there to watch over them.
And someone else is.
They are spending more time at school, then at home with me.
And that always pierces my heart.

NOT because I want them home with me.
I know we are called to the public school system.
Just because we are called there, does not always mean it's easy.
Just another part of letting go,
I suppose.

It was a really great first week of school.
Nice to have a holiday weekend though. :)
More partying to be done before Tuesday comes.

and then.
Karolina goes to preschool.

THAT will be super strange.
No children.
be still my heart.

Someone throw me a baby to snuggle.  :))

Happy weekend friends.

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

a little bit of summer randomness.

this post is going to be random.
your fair warning. :))
i have a lot of ground to cover.


these people of mine. 
life is crazy.
how do people get thru life without the love and support of "their people"?
without knowing and feeling the love of their Father?
trying to fit in cousin sleepovers before my oldest nephew moves off to college?
 i changed his diapers and babysat him when I was in college.
eeeeekkkk. :/

these people of mine.
they just keep growing.
for a blink of an eye their ages are really easy to keep track of.
kaden-12, kaycee-10, campbell-8, calli-6 and karolina-4.
i love them like wild.
in the hard. yelly. disobedient. mouthy. touching each other moments.
i figure i will forget these times.
i am pretty sure my mom has. :)
and then i will remember all the times they want to snuggle.
or have me read to them. or turn on their kindles :)
or "be the grandma" in playing house.
or give me hugs and kisses 3x in a row. at an already late bedtime.

i am trying to blaze all THESE times in my head to get me thru the hard times.
that are coming.

the summer is flying by. 
i LOVE summer. always have.
fitting in bike rides and sleep overs.
swimming in ponds, lakes and swimming pools of nice friends who invite us over. :))
sometimes it's nice to swim without the frogs. :)
ice cream, cookouts, baseball, 4H pigs, camping trips,
days at the beach, summer camp, 4 wheeler and dirt bike riding,
missing Anna- our puppy moments, but still loving Millie.
movie nights, reading, sleeping in, unloading hay, yard saling,
boat riding, tubing, laughing, and some crying too.
summer. you have been good to us.

Campbell, Karolina and Kaycee in above mentioned pond, with the frogs. :)

My baby, Karolina, turned 4 this summer.
she was REALLY hoping for a pony.
so we had lots of pony themed things going on. 
maybe next year. :))

This was a pony necklace I made for karolina.
she pretty much loved it. :)

i must say it's kinda fun working with my kids now.
just makes it a little more tolerable. 
haaaa. :))
kaden is really turning a corner now.
he is really able to help out on the farm, in a much bigger way, which is awesome.
money is really, really motivating to him. :))
he moves with a little more intention when money is involved.
but who doesn't? :))

the kids and i got to visit a church member's lake house one saturday.
it was super sweet of them to invite us, and we had a ton of fun.
they had more "toys" then we have ever seen before.
{ my mom won't believe that because she says WE have a lot of toys...but really, mom, it was crazy }


how many people can you fit on a tube anyway?

well...there is a fleeting snippet of our summer.
it's back to paying bills.
and going to feed the pigs, at the 4H Romano Center, in Honeybrook.
the sale is tonight.
Just hoping to break even. :))

The kids showed their pigs last night.
I was heart swelling proud of them.
their first year. tons of unknowns and guessing our way thru the program, 
but super glad we did it.

yesterday morning, both kids were in tears. matt was stressed.
everyone said "never again"...
but by evening's end...which was 11:15 p.m.
everyone agreed they want to do it again.
nothing more fun then to see your children learning life lessons.
and having fun doing it.

bacon anyone? 

From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets, the name of the Lord is to be praised.
Psalm 113:3.

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

To my dear grandparents.

so...i do not have very many loyal blog followers
which makes it really easy to slack off...
and well.
instagram. i post everything on there, so then i don't make this
quite as much of a
priority anymore.
boo. i know.

I do, however, have ONE loyal blog checker.
and that, my friends, is my pappy and grandma.
they request a blog entry EVERY time i go to visit.
every.single.time. :)

it's the sweetest thing.

and ALL of my doing...because out of ALL of their grandchildren,
i am the ONLY one who put her blog address into their favorite bar on their i-pad.


my 90 year old "pappy" with Karolina- 3, and Calli-6.

my 90 year old grandma with Calli-6 and Karolina-3.

the kids have always loved visiting their great grandparents.
each set of great grandparents they have gotton the priviledge of knowing,
have always had a toy box for them to play in.

a lot of the toys in this toy box, are toys that i used to play with as a child.
it's fun to see them play with them.
and fun for me to remember the memories all of those toys hold for me.

these are the grandparents i spent a lot of time with.
i grew up on the dairy farm that they used to farm.
and then, they built a house, on land connected to our farm.
so there was lots of riding bike and/or walking up thru the fields in the summer time
to eat blueberries out of the garden.
or swim in the pool.
or quilt with my grandma.
or play with toys. or eat white toast with homemade strawberry jelly. :)
i love the memories i have with them. they will always be treasured.

i need to do a better job of visiting them.
they are only a half hour away now.
why do i let life swallow me up and keep my away from doing important things?
they will not be here much longer.
and still have so much wisdom for me.

we always talk about farming. and chickens.
today we encorporated puppies and our pigs too.
mothering. (it is no wonder i am in love with babies...i get that from my mom and grandma).
gardening. birthdays. weather. matt. and what he's doing.
and life in general. pappy and grandma.
i love you.
thanks for loving me and my family.
the kids always love to come visit.
we'll be back again soon to eat apples and steal all the chocolate from your candy dish.

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

joanna gaines. and a snippet about my thoughts on technology.

so. let's be honest.

technology. i feel like Satan has a field day using techology in our day and age.
sure. there has always been the same problems of our day, as in days gone by.
BUT...i feel as if they are skyrocketing to a whole new level.
Satan has a whole new platform to use, to tear apart families and relationships.

that being said. most of my friends know that matt and i are not a part of facebook.
something we decided years ago.
i remember joining for a brief milisecond, and this barely clothed female popped up on the screen.
as someone we "may" know.
now. i know you can set blocks and all kinds of things.
but this was "enough" for me to say, "no way."
and we both feel good about that decision.

sometimes it feels good to buck the trend. ya know?
we miss out on some things because we are not on facebook.
the world expects you to be "there", so that's how invitations are communicated now.
parties. and family gatherings. and even church things.

what is my point?

well. as much as i hate facebook.
i love instagram. and pinterest.
and surely Satan is using these platforms to tear apart relationships as well.
mainly, i think of women.

women are wired differently from men.
God did that on purpose. i know.
but it's hard for women to not get sucked into comparing. and jealousy.
we struggle with such different things then men.

back to my point.

i came upon this video thru instagram yesterday.
this lady. joanna gaines. and her husband, chip.
they seem like a couple matt and i would get along with.
and maybe the whole world feels that way?
their show is awesome.
we only get to watch a teeny bit when we go to my mom's, when the girls are at ballet.
(but i am going to start watching re-runs on the we go :))

but, i wanted to share it.
she speaks some of my passion for women. and dreams.
watch it.
and maybe their show's called Fixer Upper.

and as much as Satan is using some of these platforms to tear families apart.
God is also using them to reach his people.
how is he using these platforms in your life?

i wonder?

Thursday, March 12, 2015

Heather Williams.

I know I am not writing on here like I love too.
Life has gotton the best of me.
I feel like I am running around serving people all the time.
That's what I do. That is what I love to do.
Most days. :))

Today the kids have a half day of school, so I am trying to get some things done,
before they come home, and undue them again.

haaaa. the life of a mother. you get something looking fabulous.
and it is undone in a matter of minutes.

they tell me, i am gonna miss that.
we'll see. :)

anyway, taking some time out to listen to Jesus this morning,
and thought i would share...

I heard this Hallelujah song the other day, and really loved it.

This morning, I found this...
Listen to it.

One of my husband's favorite lines (he has many) :)  is, "You always have a choice. YOU ultimately are the one to decide if you are going to wallow in your "woe is me, you don't understand, i was mistreated and abused, and...nevermind." It is up to you how you are going to handle life's disappointments.

And while this is true, there is so much more that goes into that.
This story is amazing.
So hard.
So powerful. What a testimony to God's power, right?

and the song that drew me to her, is this one...

Such horrific loss. There are no words.


Thankful. I am thankful i have not experienced such grievous loss.
Thank you Jesus.

Have you felt the love of Jesus today?

I am running around getting laundry done.
Getting the house "read" up before Campbell's birthday party Sunday.
Karolina was up all night, coughing.
Somewhere hiding in all this strep throat, she caught a nasty cold.
But in my weariness, I have felt Jesus today.

Have you?

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year?

Did you have a Merry Christmas 2014?
i did.

Are you having a Happy New Year in 2015 so far?
i am.

I cannot believe time is flying by at warp speed. AGAIN.

I may have mentioned before that my WORD for 2015 is SAVOR.
and, by the looks of my blog, it looks like I am living that up.
Savoring other things that is, and not taking the time I need too, to update here.

I used to be so good at making this a priority.
oh. how times have changed. :/

So. back to savoring.
i feel like life can change so drastically at any minute.
any. minute.
do you ever wonder when devestation will hit you?
like life has been too easy?
i have. i wonder. at the Lord's plan for me, and my family.
when will devestation strike us. and how will we handle it?
am i savoring NOW before tragedy hits?
that is my goal.
to SLOW down. to take life in. NOW.


what am i spending my days doing? how am i savoring this season that i am in?

well. besides the small task of serving the Lord the best way i know how...
thru serving and loving my family WELL, that seems to be taking a lot out of me.
that is just the mundane stuff.
like packing lunches x 4...i won't do the math.
and laundry. well. we won't do the math there either.
folding. and putting away. i fail MISERABLY at this. daily.
i hate having a clean pile of laundry laying somewhere to be folded.
but it happens so frequently. i am trying to work on that.
and dinners and lunches for matt, and whomever may stumble in for that time period.
and coffee and muffins.
trying to keep baked goods around here is crazy.

let me tell you a secret.
farmers find a way into your kitchen.
when they are welcomed with a hot cup of coffee and a homemade treat.
they just do.
they even forgive your clean laundry pile on the floor. (i think?)
and walk around it. to wash their hands. :))
and i love that. so i strive to do that around here.

so the mundane is keeping me busy.
trying to serve my family with a happy heart.
sometimes that is easy, and sometimes it is not.
it helps me to focus on serving the Lord.
i am striving to become more like Jesus in my lifetime.
and serving my family is how i can do that best in this season.

that is not even encorporating fun snuggly bedtimes.
or baths each night.
or all the other things that take up our life groups, and dancing at cavod, and piano lessons, and children's church, and good news club at school, and baseball is about to start, and reading outloud to my kids, coloring with them, cooking with them...the list, it just goes on and on.

i am busy.
and i don't know how i would fit a job into this life of mine?
i am so very thankful and blessed that i do not "need" to work outside of the home,
during this busy season.
and i don't take it for granted, for a minute.
thank you BABE for working hard for us!!
i so admire his strength, determination and work ethic!

he is such a hard worker.
and not a complainer.
i do not take this for granted either.
if i had to go outside today and WORK in it...i would complain.
i am almost sure of it.
it is a balmy 17 out this morning, and the wind is howling away.
i am dreading going to the store, with a 3 year old.
what an easy life i have!!

so. much has happened since i last posted.

For ONE. my first born baby girl, kaycee agnes, turned 10.
be still my heart, would you?
it is such an honor to be her mom.
we kid around all the time, because she is a LOT like her mama.
i guess this could kick me in the butt, pretty soon, but for now...

she is easy.
quiet. (which is a gift and sorrow all in one, i know.)
simple. by this i mean jeans and sneaks.
and a scarf-that she knitted. and hair pulled back. i mean s.i.m.p.l.e.
she follows the rules.
modesty. no problem here.
(that is already a problem with her sister campbell, but we'll talk about that, another time.)  :))
kind hearted.
artistic. loves drawing. painting. singing. dancing. knitting. writing. scrapbooking.
she is starting to crave her own space.
that is hard. because well. she doesn't have any. :(
she must share a room, that is all there is to that.
i try to believe by having to share space and things, and space and things,
it will just make her one rock star of a fighter. :)) and appreciative.
maybe she will one day live in a small tiny village across the ocean.
loving on people. all in her space. and then i will know.
why it was important for her to learn to share now.
but, that would probably be too easy, now wouldn't it?
i wonder what she will BE?
a wife? a teacher? a doctor? a mom? a pharmacist? a dancer? who knows.
but i get excited dreaming about her future.

for TWO. i turned 37 years old.
i am getting old. my hands are aging, as well as all other parts of my body.
still no gray hair.
so i kind of love that.
matt is graying away. but for some reason, i find that very handsome on him. ;)
i had a great day of celebration. well. really week. kind of.
it was a fabulous day for me to reflect on my life.
and the woman i am becoming.

we traveled to the Eastern Shore for an extended Buckwalter family
gathering to celebrate my dad's parents 70th wedding anniversary, and upcoming 90th birthdays.

WOW. 90 years. and 70 years married to the same beautiful person?

the reality of  this being highly unusual these days.
in a world that is filled with cancer, and heart attacks and strokes, and tragic accidents all around, what a glorious time for our family.
to take it all in.
the generational blessings we are receiving from the mighty hand of the Lord.
the provision.
it's hard to grasp.

a time of catching up with family around the country.
my family (my dad, mom, and all their children-that's me, and our families, plus, one cousin and his wife, are the only locals).
the other's span the country...from California, to Colorado, to Conneticutt, and Virginia, and New Jersey...we don't see each other much anymore, and we are all so different. so, it's always kind of a hoot to catch up. overhearing stories of doctor's practices and how Obama care has impacted them, to teacher talk, to lawyer talk, to seminary talk, to just me. plain ol mom talk.
we span a lot.

it was a fun time to catch up. to hear stories of my dad and his siblings growing up. to think thru my own childhood again.

trying to get some pictures uploaded here...having a rough time.

hope to catch up again soon.

we were at the King Cabin in Potter County for the weekend.

Chickens come again next week. in the BLITZING cold.
i don't know how those little peeps are gonna keep warm. enough. ;(

plenty for another post.

stay warm where you are.
love each other well.
and read.
i didn't even mention i am savoring time with the Lord, AND
reading some really good books.

[like, i am in tears now, reading...

the hardest peace (expecting grace in the midst of life's hard)
by: kara tippetts.

a story of kara tippets. she knows the ordinary days of mothering four kids, the joy of watching her children grow...and the devestating reality of stage IV cancer.

you can find her blog at:]

take care lovees,